Victorian Valentine's Day & Afternoon Tea: A Love Story
- mypetale
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
How the Victorians invented modern romance—one teacup at a time
During the Victorian period, Afternoon tea wasn't just refreshment—it was romance. Victorian couples courted over teacups, and a Valentine's tea was the perfect excuse for young people to spend time together (albeit under proper supervision).
Victorian England saw the rise of popular Valentine's Day traditions that many people still practice today. Tea was a daily ritual; however, it had a special place at the heart of Valentine's Day. Keep reading to learn more about how Afternoon Tea and Valentine’s Day were (and still are) a match made in heaven.
The Paper Valentine Meets the Tea Table
The rise of the paper valentine took place just as the popularity of afternoon tea was gaining momentum. When the first commercial Valentine's cards appeared in the 1840s—elaborately decorated with lace, ribbons, and romantic verse—afternoon tea was being enjoyed in drawing rooms across England. The timing was no coincidence: both traditions celebrated beauty, sentiment, and the importance of connection.
Afternoon Tea was the perfect time to exchange beautifully crafted Valentine’s day cards whether between friends, couples, or family members. The ritual of the valentine exchange also added an element of anticipation to the tea hour. Even today, the paper valentine remains an integral symbol of the holiday—and what better time to exchange cards than over a beautifully set tea table, just as the Victorians did? Pretty cards are available in stationery shops often with 3D or hand-designed embellishments. Adding a wax seal, foil or watercolor sticker, or even a small piece of ribbon adds a thoughtful and sentimental touch to even the simplest of cards. One of my favorite online shops for supplies and inspiration is https://bgoodslettering.com/
The Language of Flowers: Secret Messages in Bloom
Another special Victorian tradition was sending coded messages through the Language of Flowers, or floriography. In an era of strict social propriety, flowers allowed Victorians to express feelings that couldn't always be spoken aloud. Every bloom carried meaning, and a carefully arranged bouquet could convey an entire conversation.
A nosegay of pale pink roses, for example, might have been gifted to a dear friend as a sign of admiration and affection. Red roses declared passionate love. A Victorian suitor could compose a love letter in petals—if you knew how to read it.
Gifting flowers was, however, typically considered a serious public announcement of a courtship. To send flowers was to declare your intentions to the world—or at least to your beloved’s family and social circle. The exception was, of course, Valentine's Day, when flowers (and their secret messages) could be gifted without committing any serious social faux pas. It was a day of romantic possibility.
If you are a flower lover like me, the opportunity to dress your tea table in meaningful and beautiful flowers is too tempting to pass up. The simplest interpretation of this tradition is a vase of fresh blooms. Consider a display of yellow roses for Galentines as they symbolized friendship and joy. Incorporating floral flavors like chamomile, rose, or violet into your menu is another charming way of honoring the tradition of gifting flowers. Chamomile is said to represent encouragement and resilience - perfect for a friend who may be going through a difficult time. Lastly, consider using single stems as thoughtful favors. Tied simply with a bit of ribbon, these pretty tokens will be loved by your guests.
If you're looking for a uniquely beautiful floral option this Valentine's Day (or any day), I heartily recommend FloralPost.com, a Virginia-based business that specializes in cultivating the ritual of flowers through thoughtfully sourced bouquets.
The Tea Table as Courtship Ground
For Victorian couples, afternoon tea was where romance unfolded—slowly, properly, and under the watchful eyes of chaperones. Young people “taking tea" together was practically code for courtship. If a gentleman received repeated invitations to a lady's afternoon tea, it signaled romantic interest. If he accepted those invitations, he was reciprocating that interest.
The intimacy of the tea table created space for connection that formal balls and crowded drawing room parties could not. Here, couples could actually talk. Valentine's Day teas were especially significant. The tea itself—its careful preparation, its beautiful presentation—communicated care and intentionality. Earl Grey, with its bright bergamot notes, was considered especially suitable for romantic occasions—uplifting and elegant without being too heavy. Even today, it is one of the most popular black tea blends on the market and the perfect foil for lemon, lavender, strawberry, and vanilla scented treats. Lake Missoula Tea Company has a wide range of premium organic whole leaf Earl Grey and Earl Grey-inspired teas. I always keep the Earl Grey Classic on hand for its perfectly balanced flavor and bergamot notes.
Reviving Victorian Romance Today
While Valentine's Day is decidedly a romantic holiday, at its core it is a day dedicated to connection. The Victorians knew that beauty matters, that details communicate care, and that spending time together over tea is one of life's sweetest pleasures. A simple bouquet of meaningful flowers, a carefully chosen tea, a few elegant treats, and the intention to slow down and spend time with someone you love—that's all it takes to capture the spirit of the Victorian Valentine's Day.
Ready to create your own Victorian-inspired Valentine's tea? Download our free Valentine's Tea for Two menu—complete with expert pairings you can find at your local grocery store. Discover how easy it can be to host an elegant afternoon tea in the comfort of your own home this February 14th.
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